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Archive for June, 2009


How marriages can last

How marriages can last

They face each other, relaxed and interested. She is talking in response to his latest statement. He is listening, but he will respond when she has finished talking. They respect each other. They are present to each other. They ignore those around them and focus instead on the topic between them. They are comfortable with each other. They trust each other to listen. They trust each other to stay present, and know neither will get up and walk away. They will continue to the end of this topic. How will it end? Perhaps in agreement. Perhaps in laughter. Perhaps in acceptance of two different viewpoints, and it will be okay. They’ve done this before. They will do it again. What matters is neither topic nor outcome. What matters is the process of communicating: talking, listening, sharing, each telling his or her own story. This is what uncondititional love looks like. This is how marriages can last.

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I have finally emailed the last revisions to the text of Your Invisible Bodies, in preparation for the second printing.  The good news is that my meeting with Lexus Bird today was fun and affirming for both of us. Lexus was in last year’s group that field tested the first run of the book, and she agreed to read the second version.  We finally found a Sunday that worked for both of us: no soccer or swimming for her, and I was in town and at church.  She said many good things, agreeing to a short endorsement that will be on the back cover of the new print run.  Part of her letter reads “I really liked p.4 because most kids my age are eating out of vending mahines and not taking care of hygiene 🙂 so I will recommend it to my friends… I really liked that you had egsamples (sic) on/in the book it helped me a lot.”  In response to the page which has a colour photograph of my aura, Lexus said “REALLY GREAT!!!!! I loved the picture on this it is absolutely great!!!!”  and she ends with “Anyone who reads it will learn a lot” …. “Love, Lexy”. 

I am really grateful to her, and for the opportunity to hear her opinions.  She also was astute in telling me something I missed on p. 18, about the inner voice that tells us we’re stupid or not good enough.  She said to add : “You ARE special and don’t always listen to that voice because it can be wrong.”  So I did add that today.  She also pointed out that the Q&As in the FAQ section are confusing and need to be shown more clearly.  A formatting change should help that.  She liked that there were several examples.  I liked her enthusiasm.  I gave her a copy of Gwen, Carolyn Pogue’s new book, as a thankyou gift.  I enjoyed reading Gwen very much, and the audience was perfect for Lexus.  Life is very good.  I’m thrilled to have completed these revisions to my satisfaction now.  I’m taking my time on this printing.  The first run was okay, but this one will be much much better.  It is all in the hands of Lisa Arsenault, my graphic designer.  Well, it’s also in the hands of Spirit, or God, or whatever you call it.  It has been in those hands since its inception, two years ago.  Now I can relax and play more.

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